So after all these days at home I have gotten into my blog
again. My only form of expression as of now it seems. So let me give you the
last instalment of my American adventure. This could have also been classified
as the mad rush to try fit EVERYTHING in, time flies when you’re having fun and
all that jazz. Anyway.
So on Monday Karen needed to go into Miami to clean the boat
and as she had organised a new and reliable day worker I was going to be
dropped at the Miami Seaquarium to wonder around until she finished and met up with me at lunchtime – cue my
first tourist alone in this semi foreign country moment. As it was the aquarium
I was stoked anyhow, if you know me you know I’m a sucker for animals and the
slippery kind. Expect snakes. Naught. So as I paid my so worth it $42 to go in
I was given a map of the park. And I tell you I officially know I lost that 5%
of my matric exam paper on mapwork – doh. What is amazing about Miami
seaquarium is that they have shows ALL day so in between walking around you
really get to see and interact with the animals. So I arrived just in time to
look at some of the fish tanks (which I wasn’t as impressed with as the ones in
Orlando) and made my way up to the first dolphin show of the day. Now what I
learned about VERY late was that when the area says “splash zone” what they
really mean is better hope your t-shirt isn’t white or see-through. The
dolphins were quite cute doing tricks that they were learning in time to music
and disgustingly perky blonde American girls. And of course because it was such
a hot day the dolphins cooled us down nicely and off we went to carry on around
this delightful park. The next show was Salty the Sea lion who was going to
teach us to reduce, reuse and recycle. It was precious and I loved watching the
tricks. They slid down slides, posed for us, “saved” a “drowning” swimmer and
interacted with his mom, what was truly amazing was when they slid along the
edges of the pool and joined in a heart shaped kiss in the middle, close enough
that you could touch them. Oh and of course grabbing the hose pipe and spraying
the crowd. Dam splash zones but I was determined to be as close as possible.
Moving on out of the act area you got to see sea lions and seals lazing around
in the rocky pools enjoying all the attention. Around this area there was a
garden area filled with exotic birds, flamingos, cockatoo’s, African greys,
macaws to name a few. You could interact and walk between the birds left in the
open to talk and show off to the interested visitors. There was also a built
pond that was filled with rays which you could put your hand in and touch. So I
may have never dived with them but I’ve got to see them up close and touch
them. The next show I went to watch was the Flipper the dolphin show. Yup, thee
Flipper. The one from the movie. That came out about the time Free Willy and
the range of sea animal movies came out. Turns out these famous dolphins you
see in the movies are trained and cared for at Miami Seaquarium and their
tricks and talent were unbelievable, then danced, they surfed, they jumped and
clapped and spoke to us. They cooled off our overheated bodies. AND they did the
limbo – dolphin style, they jumped over the rope. And of course Flipper was
amazing at his game and he jumped the highest with the rope waaaaaaaaaaaay up
in the air. I’m a kid at heart I will admit that I was tickled pink! Well
theoretically red because I was sunburnt.
By now I was STARVING and slightly lost. I was waiting for the main highlight,
Lolita the Killer Whale and the white bellied Atlantic dolphin show. So after
walking myself in a circle twice in a bid to find food – I had found drinks.
Refillable coke is amazing, let’s just be honest!! Got me a pizza and stalked
the whale tank because I WAS going to get the best seat possible. After
scarfing my lunch in line the doors were opened and we were allowed inside and
all I can say is WOW. If you have ever been to the aquarium and thought that dolphins
are beautiful, you need to see a killer whale up close and personal. This was
my highlight! Watching the dolphins interact with their trainers and Lolita was
something special. I think what also made these shows worthwhile is that you
see the love and adoration the trainers and the animals have with each other.
Lolita did flips and dives for us stopping occasionally to steal a kiss from
her trainer. She also balanced upright while her trainer stood on her nose high
up in the air and it was just truly beautiful. For me my $42 got spent there
and if she had just swum around like a boring old fish I would have been
satisfied. And of course Lolita the whale had to give us a splash too. That was
not a splash, that was a tsunami. The stands beside me decided they were EXTRA
hot and wanted to be cooled down again and they were delighted when Lolita
focused her splash on them. However the girl sitting in front in her wheelchair
seemed less than impressed at the unavoidable drenching she got due to being
movemently challenged. To this day all I can hear is Brigitte half dying
laughing when I told her that story. At this time Karen arrived so we started
to do another victory lap around the park. We stopped in and saw the Florida
manatees. How do I describe a manatee?! Well
they look like potato shaped hippos with no legs. Or arms. Just a potato.
Somewhat boring but I wasn’t ever going to see one of those at home so I
enjoyed the experience. They are also endangered so you never know, the next
time I get to America I may not get to see them again. We went and watched them
feed the sharks. I decided their little sharks were wussy sharks when compared
to the spectacular species we get in South Africa. Give me a man eating shark
any day. We then found the turtles and they were huge! They were also randy
little buggers!!! Nature at its best we got to watch two getting it on sans
Barry White and scented candles and randomly by the turtles was a deer. Right.
As Karen had her amazing camera and waterproof camera with her I opted
to go and watch all the shows again because I had loved them so much the first
time. Eventually I was sunburnt, tired and my legs were sore BUT in true
Kathleen fashion I stopped in at the gift store and went bananas! It was in
fact the first reasonably priced store! And then home we went. After a relax on
the couch, some homemade dins, a little research for the next days adventure
and a refreshing shower it was bedtime and I was pooped.
Right, so on Tuesday things went slightly pear-shaped on former
plans. Karen had to work but as it was a BEAUTIFUL sunny hot day in Florida I
decided to take advantage of the pool and all of Paul’s pool toys. In between
hot pockets, beer, sun, swim and naps the day drew on. We had decided – well I
had suggested and my wishes had of course come true – on authentic Mexican food
(eat your heart out Taco Zulu, tastes better and takes a quarter of the time).
Karen arrived home to Paul and I in the pool, she and Bosco joined in. Try as I might to unsurp Paul from the cool
pool floaty thing, I did not. And then, gasp! I decided we should do something
extreme in Florida – the joke was let’s get our noses pierced. Together. As a
cousin bonding moment. I had been drinking. I was told no way buuuuuut we all
know me, where there is a will there is a way and I was highly motivated. Then
after dinner we were going to hit The Hard Rock Cafe for a little gambling. Or
culture. Whichever we found first. Dinner was down the road and it was divine.
Really I’m sure I have a bit of Asian in me. The curry, the spicy, the
carbohydrates. The need to work. I however did not get the aneroxia gene.
Mexican fried black beans forever change my life again and again. The highlight
of supper was Karen ordering the vegetarian burrito. With a little bit of
chicken. To said immigrant this meant that Karen had in fact ordered the
chicken burrito. She did not get vegetables. Full and incredibly happy off we
went. The Hard Rock cafe is like a maze. Its huge, its loud, its colourful. It
is covered in song lyrics by different people and bands so all the epic
favourites sing through your head as you walk around the whirring, buzzing and
ringing noise going on inside. We decided to take a walk around the little shop
area where they had comedy theatres and all the pubs and clubs which happened
later on in the evening. The first shop I spied of course, was a tattoo
parlour, so in I went to get a quote on a nose piercing. $40 and slightly
gobsmacked once converted to South African Rands and slightly ill at the idea
of a needle through my nose we meandered along looking in at all the overally
priced boutiques. I came upon a bar aptly named “The Tequila Ranch.” This
brought on a bout of home sicknesses due to all my fond “memories” of tequila
so with a snap and intentions to tag everyone so they knew they were thought of
I carried on snooping in and out. Throughout this walk Karen tried her best to
talk me out of the nose piercing I was deciding on. Probably due to the fact
that she had to explain to my mom that I was indisposed the week before after
getting riproaringly drunk she wanted to try get me back home in as big a piece
as possible. We decided on going for a corona in the casino’s bar. The tables
were amazing. Stripper legs with a table top on them. Here we discussed some of
my favourite things about the trip. And Karen and Paul’s impending bundle of
joy (She’s sure to pop soon enough so yes, if I didn’t say it before, KAREN IS
WITH CHILD) and we got onto a favourite topic of baby names. During this
conversation we did realise the social differences between America and South
Africa in regards to naming your child and further on how your child would
uphold this name in school etc etc. Things got a bit tense so to completely
change the subject I decided it was time to get my nose pierced. As I had
mentioned before, Karen wasn’t too keen on this idea, but Paul was all for it
so I said lets gooooo and get it done. Kathleen – 1, Karen – 0. Definitely the
best $40 I’ve ever spent I didn’t feel a thing. To this day my dad has still
not noticed the sparkly piece of jewellery that now lives in my nose. As we
left I smsed my mom to tell her the good news. As it was about 9pm in Florida
my mom was still fast asleep so I thought that would be a fun little wake up
message. I couldn’t wait to see the reply.
My mom thought it was a late April fools joke until I
uploaded a picture of my nose and facebook and tagged her. Not quite the
reaction I was hoping for but I would take it. Wednesday, our next adventure
was to drive to the Everglades in Naples. Armed with the TomTom and the hopes
of not ending up in completely the wrong place we headed up to Billies Swamp
Safari. It was the most disappointing drive ever. I think the 200km of Karoo
desert has more character. Then again that could just be me being biased. We
finally found our way into the Indian reservation where the establishment was
located. Here is the trip varied from the Karoo. Instead of your regular cow,
horse, dog roadkill, we were blessed with alligator roadkill. And where there
is roadkill there are buzzards. So the drive in became a bit grotesque. We
finally got to the booking farm?? Where there were surprisingly many people
with the same idea as ourselves. We purchased an airboat ride. I was pretty
excited for this because you see it in the movies and the whole being that
close to an alligator thing was kind of cool and risky. Please note, it is hot,
smelly, full of bugs and you have to wear earplugs. After what felt like an
eternity and spotting a random gator waiting around for someone to drop
something we were placed into not the safest sort of contraction where our
weight needed to be shared etc for bouyancy. The ride started and it was a slow
descent into steamy swamp/foresty type conditions. The worst part was probably
being sprayed by the icky water but a fun experience none the less. In this
tour we were privileged enough to see many water buffalo and bush pigs, most in
the water blocking our way and making sure we knew the inconvenience we put
them through to move out our way. We saw no alligators... After the short ride
we took a walk around the farm seeing some authentic red Indian things and had
lunch at the restaurant. Amazing burger and fries and probably the only meal I
ever finished along with my ridiculously huge like 1 litre refillable Coke, we
made tracks back to Fort Lauderdale, absolutely buggered from the sun. I also
had a few purchases to make for friends so I got those done at the same time
whilst realising there wasn’t much time left with my other family. The rest of
Wednesday was chilled. Karen and I spent it watching her home video dvds she
had made and finally we owned up to the fact I needed to get another bag so I
could start my packing.
Thursday I started going through all my things and my word
there was a lot of stuff! While Karen went to work I went about destroying all
evidence of newly purchased things such as slips, tags, plastic wrapping and
boxes, anything customs could possibly nail me with. It took forever as I
entered the states with a mere 7kgs of luggage and was now leaving with what I
assumed was close on 30kgs. Poptarts got me through this awful endeavour and
the promise of cherry Garcia Ben and Jerrys for later. At lunchtime Karen and
Chantal came and fetched me and we went to Weston to Chantal’s jeweller. I was
going to buy some Pandora for my mom and I. A couple of hours and hundreds of
dollars later we all walked out looking like the cat who got the canary and
admiring our new arm candy. It was decided that we wouldn’t be going to Boca
Raton as my credit card had had enough pressure for one day and Karen and I
would enjoy sort of our last not so frantic night together. I helped her get
stock for the boat and got my promised ice cream. Another very chilled day but
I was just happy for every moment I had left to spend with Karen. Next problem
we encountered was the need for a scale so off we went to Craig and Chantal to
borrow one. I brought along the caramel vodka I had been threatening to
introduce them too as my parting gift. Here we had some laughs eating Lindt
easter eggs and socking back neat vodka. I introduced Craig to something tasty
and was later blamed for the headache that ensued. I told him it was absolutely
worth it! While they went to Boca we went back home to ice cream, home cooked
meals and the taste of trying to convert whatever the scale said into Metric.
We were resting up because tomorrow was THE day. Miami beach.
I woke up early and excited that I was finally going to go
and walk the streets of the rich and famous. Karen hadn’t really done this
downtown tour so we did our research and saved the addresses into the Tom Tom
hoping yet again it wouldn’t take us to the wrong side of Miami. Trying to find
parking in Miami is tedious and especially on Washington Avenue and the parking
metres scared us so we found a spot in sort of the general location of where we
were headed and decided to walk. This was big for me as the running joke was
Karen driving between opposite sides of the shopping complexes. So we hit
tracks in search of celebrities and breakfast whilst trying to keep an eye out
for DASH and MIAMI INK. One thing about Miami is that everyone is an
exhibitionist. And Miami only really wakes up at 11am! So we got to look in all
the boutiques and I got to pant over the dicounts. I still regret not buying
the $10 hooker shoes I thought were amazing, but really I had put Karen through
enough. We found a dog boutique called “Le Petit” where they had miniature
handbag dogs in the window and all the clothes and accessories one would need
to have her own bonafided Tinkerbell! We found Dash which wasn’t open but this
let me have my own personal photo session whilst not looking like an absolute
tool in front of staff and employees and we walked all the up to the beach road
and what was known as the art deco district. Here there are many roadside cafe
restaurants which are all very upmarket. We decided to have breakfast in “News
Cafe” and no not the one at Suncoast Casino but a little hangout for the rich
and well to do. After finally having my bagel and cream cheese and watching in
awe as people downed glasses of champagne and orange juice before breakfast has
arrived, I realised I was in a whole different little bubble of judgement. Food
was good and the people watching was definitely interesting. The competition
between waitrons was definitely a wake up call as we decided to leave the
restauranteur rat race carry on our walk. Here is where I experience true
spring break. Girls of all shapes and sizes prancing around in bikinis sans
shorts/tanks on top and slops. Ok so we get that in South Africa but generally
a)we have some class and those of us without supermodel physiques will try and
cut down on the eye candy and b) we are still conscious of rape. Well did I not
just stare with my mouth open as a girl in a string bikini top and string
bikini thong bottom wobble her pert little bum in front of me. If they were not
taking photos of themselves I would have gotten a picture as evidence but the
foreigner in the background with the camera aimed on her bum might have been an
epic photobomb fail in this girls life so I decided to rather not risk it. Here
we walked past many hotels that have been the location for movies and got to
walk around the Miami Beach art deco gallery. We carried on walking around the
block as I was sure Dash would now be open for me to peruse. I saw hobos
sleeping in the street and a dirty lady with a tummy on her and mom jean shorts
paired with a dirty yellow bra and thought wow, feels like Durban beach front
and suddenly felt less homesick and into Dash I went. It was decadent and I
felt like I was in an episode of KUWTK! Sadly you pay for their name and
stardom and I felt that $20 g-string would break eventually so I proceeded to
buy their touristy trinkets so I had some proof I was there. Yet again while
trying to take a photo of the set up a large African security guard yet again
shouted at me for unauthorised photo taking of the displays soooo I thought that
was our cue to leave. We got back to the car and started driving up and down
until finally we found the Love Hate Tattoo Studio aka Miami Ink. It was
AWESOME! Highlight of my trip and to clear up any misconception, the guys you
see on tv still work there, they take walk ins and they are completely down to
earth and friendly. The welcomed you to take photographs of the shop and
allowed tons of questions to be asked. I got to meet Yogi Hamara and get my
photo taken with him. Chris Graver was doing a piece and I was star struck as I
really admire his work. I couldn’t get up close to see but the fact that I
could say I got to see him work is good enough for me. A tattoo started at $200
so I knew this was completely out my price range but I couldn’t go home empty
handed so I got an Ami James tank and the receptionist was kind enough to throw
in tons of post cards and fliers into my packet. Sad to leave we headed back to
the car and then did my last journey from Miami to Fort Lauderdale. We spent
the rest of the afternoon on the couch watching LA Ink and doing last minute
packing and organising. Saddest part was Karen having to leave early to get the
apartment ready in the morning so Craig and Chantal were throwing me a huge
breakfast for before I left.
The morning of departure I was really sad because I felt
like I was leaving home all over again! My goodbyes to Paul were sad and my
goodbye to Karen was the hardest. Craig fetched me and made sure to get any
last minute American things I had yet to try to throw into my breakfast. We sat
around the table and laughed and talked about the things I had done. Grant
brought the girls around so I got to say goodbye to them too which was great as
I had only really just met them. The men got ready to go to work and Chantal and
I packed the car. I said goodbye to Chance, Jibby and Jesse my new animal
friends and got in the SUV. After one or two little stop offs at an amazing
bohemian boutique it was time for me to hit the airport. In all her wisdom,
Chantal got me booked in. We said our goodbyes and I settled down to the idea
of a very long flight ahead of me. After sitting in the wrong airport terminal
for an hour I finally found my gate, ditched my previous track top for the Florida
hoodie it would have been sacrilege not to by and started the mad rush of
flight and check in. Back to Atlanta airport which is just massive and spending
most of the time moving from one side to the other by underground train due to
its vast size. Once there I had 30 minutes and then we were boarding and I was
saying a very bittersweet goodbye. I had myself a window seat with an empty
seat beside me, my sausage pillow and my earphones and I had a long and
turbulent filled trip home which was a lot more comfortable then my trip to
Atlanta. Many movies and a sort of decent sleep later I was back in SA.
I got myself nicely lost in OR Tambo not asking a porter for
help as I was without South African currency in my wallet. I sailed through
customs declaring nothing and wearing my best “I’m not guilty nor do I possess
illegal narcotics and bombs” face I phoned all my people excitedly during my
wait and got back in contact with everyone on bbm which was exciting. My plane
was an hour delayed but I finally arrived at King Shaka airport. I found my bag
with relief and did the cheesy run out and greet the parents thing we see in
the movies. Absolutely exhausted we headed home where I was excited to get some
good old Albany bread in my belly, a snuggle with my kitties and my own bed.
All in all my experience was amazing and I want to do it again. It is so
different but being with such special people whilst I was there definitely made
my holiday worthwhile!
Hope you enjoyed my travel stories :)
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